You’re a writer, artist, photographer, avant garde jewellery-maker, part-time fashionista or whatever, and you want to court a following through the social media so as to “spread the word” about your product, yeah?
Well, ok, so let me break it down for you all…
Here are the 3 Stages of Internet Dating (within the context of wooing readers/followers/fans etc):
- Twitter: is for “chasing birds” — (flirting with your readers).
- FaceBook: is for forming more committed relationships — (foreplay/fooling around/possible fondling).
- WordPress: is for when you’re old and married and now wear your socks to bed together— (in other words, f*#king over each other).
Don’t believe me? Think about it. If you’re reading this WordPress blog at all, you’re only going to give me another 30 seconds or so to reach my point, before you switch off and start thinking about whether anyone has favorited your last tweet yet or whether you shouldn’t be updating your FaceBook status or whether a google search for free porn wouldn’t be a better option.
Go on, admit it! I’m not going to judge you. Just “Like” my FaceBook page before you leave for your dirty, little cyberspace stop-overs. Or better yet: why don’t you instead just “come up and tweet me some time”…@missingzero666