Tag Archives: Christian

OMG! Who knew #teamjesus would fight so damn DIRTY!

imageNow, listen, I don’t claim to have ever known Jesus Christ, personally, but he strikes me as the kinda guy who would’ve been able to take a joke, right?

Okay. Here’s the thing. I’m a writer and have just self-published a novel called Missing Zero. It is a work of satirical fiction, which — among other things — tells of the supposed final redemption of the Antichrist.

And so, again, just let me point out, once more, that my novel is a work of FICTION.

Anyways, as part of getting word of my novel out there, I started a Missing Zero FaceBook page (please Like, if you would be so kind). And on this page I post somewhat “challenging” images and ideas pertaining to accepted Christian dogma. However, I do not actually explicitly endorse any particular stance whatsoever, whether it be atheism or Catholicism or fundamentalist Scientology etc. My sole aim is to generate debate and thereby generate interest more generally around the central themes of my novel.

Really, the most contentious proposition that my novel asks its readers to consider is whether it might be possible for someone as supposedly evil as the Antichrist to find absolution and forgiveness in the Lord’s eyes. God being, in theory, after all, all-loving.

Still, nothing prepared me for the kind of outrage I have encountered from certain Christian visitors to my FaceBook page. Let me share a fairly typical exchange with you, here:

Sarah ThunderBird: Fuck illumanti. YalL can suck my dick.

January 22 at 2:34pm via mobile · Like · 2

Sarah ThunderBird: Bitch please u must have a mental disease
January 22 at 3:08pm via mobile · Like

Firstly, I’ll just explain that, within the social media more generally, the word illuminati has apparently become pretty much interchangeable with the word Satanists, from what I gather. Either way, after ignoring Sarah’s original taunt, I responded to her second comment by quoting back at her the next line from the Eminem song she herself had referenced by posting Bitch please etc. After which, she responded by writing:

Sarah ThunderBird: Eminem can suck a choad along wit all yall wana be fake ass devil worshiping people.

January 22 at 3:28pm via mobile · Like · 2

Fair enough, I suppose. Although I don’t suppose I really want to know what a “choad” is, given the context of Sarah’s caustic comeback. Trying a different tack, to clear the air, I responded with some lyrics from a completely different song, thus:

Missing Zero:
You make friends with the Devil, you have fun with the Devil
You make vows with the Devil, now who you think gon’ win?
You make love to the Devil, definitely have fun with the Devil
You never fights with the Devil
You get right with the Devil
Now who you think gon’ win?

Read more: SWOLLEN MEMBERS – DEVIL LYRICS
January 22 at 3:29pm · Like

To which, Sarah replied

Sarah ThunderBird Fuck the devil he can smd so can u.
January 22 at 3:30pm via mobile · Like · 3

But wait, now she had an ally in the form of Jesse Watt. And here’s what he next said:

Jesse Watt: THEY WILL FALL!! YES THEY WILL FALL!! COME LORD YESHUA/JESUS!!
January 23 at 9:15am · Edited · Like · 1

Jesse Watt: Tell’em Sarah Thunderbird.. I don’t vote either & WILL NEVER VOTE FOR THERE PUNCK ASS MF!!
January 23 at 9:18am · Like · 1

And my response?

Missing Zero: Can’t be sure, but didn’t you perceive a hint of a penis in absolutely every one of Ms ThunderBird’s previous comments?

Which conveniently brings me to the point of today’s blog. Namely, when did #teamjesus stop being all cuddly and Christian? I mean, they all fight so dirty now. Whatever happened to good Christian humility and forgiveness? I’m not a prude, but I have to admit I’m shocked! What would Jesus say?

If I might be so bold, I’d like to therefore finish now by leaving you all to ruminate on this strange turn of events, while also offering you this passage from the bible to reflect on in the meantime:

Jhn 8:7 he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Happy Easter, Everyone!