the death of a comma

nobody cried at the death of
a comma not a single tear
oh sure there was some minor
distress bordering on mild panic
as the pedants and pundits warned
that all clear communication would
now be dead between us also
but it soon blew over as well you
might imagine that is apart from the
uproar caused by the lawyers and their ilk
who later at the funeral hysterically
began to babble about restrictive clauses
and the proof of corpus delicti
as the coffin bearing the sadly
deceased sank from view
however in a statement prepared
for the press afterwards a prominent
member of the punctuation police
in attendance on the fateful day
is quoted as saying there was
absolutely no sign of foul play in
the demise of the dearly departed
and that he would therefore ask
everyone in the community to show
their respect for the much-lamented
mark in the most appropriate
of fashions by observing
a brief pause for silence…

About Lorem Ipsum

Just some guy trying to figure out where the "on" switch is hid on the remote control—ah, forget it. Because, you know what, I'm also the kinda guy who always likes the book waaay more than the movie! View all posts by Lorem Ipsum

8 responses to “the death of a comma

  • Mike

    A rare enjoyable lament but it turned out that only the Oxford Comma is now extinct – the remainder are yet to be found in albeit small numbers.

    • Lorem Ipsum

      Thanks, for reading, Mike! Punctuation can be such a contentious issue that I really enjoyed being able to make light of its abuse/demise, for once. It felt very liberating. Cheers!

  • MyPoetryAndVerse

    Great ending! Oh, and I liked the rest too.

  • dhonour

    I love, love, love this. Earlier this summer, my 9 year old read a fortune out loud from a fortune cookie. He looked at me, looked at it, and said, “this fortune needs a comma.” I think I actually fist pumped the air. Just think about it, all those horrible semi colons would come creeping in from under their rocks. Colons, those sentence stopping eye-sores would be resurrected (I think Hilary Mantel is on the committee for the Bring Back the Colon cause). Though I am fond of a good hyphen….have I ever given you my favorite Finish word?

    • Lorem Ipsum

      I’m glad you enjoyed the poem. It sounds like you are bringing up your son to have a fascination with words akin to your own (pardon the pun ), which is highly commendable. And I, too, admit to being rather fond of a good hyphen/em rule. As for your favorite Finnish word, you have not previously shared it with me. So, what is it?

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