a question of mortality

who will tidy the debris
of our lives when
we are gone
after all it won’t be
you and me
who will remain
to pick up
after ourselves

and if you really
care to think about
this legacy of
our obsolescence
you will agree
it’s not fair to
leave our children
such a thankless task

so who, then, will save
the jars of orphaned
buttons and old birthday
cards we collect
around us in our
wakes once we have
turned back again to
dust I challenge you

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About Lorem Ipsum

Just some guy trying to figure out where the "on" switch is hid on the remote control—ah, forget it. Because, you know what, I'm also the kinda guy who always likes the book waaay more than the movie! View all posts by Lorem Ipsum

12 responses to “a question of mortality

  • annotating60

    No doubt someone will call Gooid Will, not to be smarmy about it.>KB

  • Holistic Wayfarer

    Really like the ending and the picture of tangibles in the last stanza. Great job. Thank you dearly for the support. Diana

    • Lorem Ipsum

      Yes, I got a strong sense that the poem lacked tangibles, as you say, and therefore tried to make amends in the final stanza. Btw it’s always great to get an informed response to a poem, so I am really pleased you made a comment. For how else could we grow as writers? Thank you, so much, for your insights!

      • Holistic Wayfarer

        I appreciate the receptivity. You did well there! I, too, am grateful for feedback (for better or worse). Hope you enjoy the new mafia post.

        • Lorem Ipsum

          As a point of grammar, I’d be really interested to know your thoughts on the line in the poem where it goes

          “…it won’t be
          you and me
          who will remain
          to pick up
          after ourselves”

          Because my understanding is that it should strictly be “you and I” and not “you and me”, in this case. However, I went with the more colloquial form of usage, as it rhymed with the previous line. A heinous act, say you? Or am I ignorant of some other grammatical consideration within all of this?

  • dhonour

    See, it’s even more important to teach children to pick up after themselves! ;-). So many things going on here, which I like. From the abstract (a cleaner planet, a more peaceful world, global families), to the concrete (birthday cards and buttons). But history is a lesson for all, be it those birthday cards or an oil slicked ocean. Great stuff.

    • Lorem Ipsum

      I love that you can see a more “big picture” environmental message in the poem! Its underlying theme of personal responsibility certainly lends itself to a greater questioning of our generational duty of care towards the planet, more widely. Thank you, for bringing a fresh perspective to the poem’s overall scope!

  • Mike

    It is my intention to fall on the home detonator button as I drop dead. More tips soon from “The Joys of Living Alone”.

  • marcy westerling

    These are the questions that some of us fill our days with even at too young an age.
    Marcy Westerling
    http://livinglydying.com/

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