I Can Change Everything About Who I Am, Except Who I Am

Those of you who, like myself, possess a mercurial nature will know how stultifying it can be having to conform to other people’s expectations of who we should be from one day to the next.

While not burdened with quite the affliction or curse, say, that lycanthropy represents for its sufferers, those born with a mercurial bent are nonetheless unpredictable shape-shifters, prone to inexplicable changes of temperament and outlook as the mood takes them.

Within the context of Spiritual Alchemy, mercury or quicksilver is an essential ingredient in bringing completion to the Great Work. Being at once both fluid and a metal, mercury exists between worlds. It is made of the dense physical stuff of the terrestrial plane, but it is also “alive” or filled with Spirit (the quick in quicksilver, here, then, meaning alive, like as in the saying the quick and the dead).

Alchemists believed it was the marriage (or conjunction) ultimately of the terrestrial and celestial planes that led to the discovery of the philosopher’s stone or lapis philosophorum, to use its fancy Latin name.

And I feel we mercurial beings who have our heads in the clouds while are hearts are mired in the crazy machinations of the human world are simply alchemical works in progress. It makes us volatile creatures; we fizz and spit, and our heads fill with steam should someone try to put a stopper in who we are.

Don’t feel offended by us, though, if you are not of a mercurial mould yourself. We are slippery customers us mercurial folk, and we can be as changeable as the Spring weather.

As is the often the case, I believe there are some lyrics to a particular song that sum up what I am trying to say best:

I can change
I can change, I can change
But I’m here in my mold
I am here in my mold
And I’m a million different people
from one day to the next
I can’t change my mold
No, no, no, no, no
I can’t change
I can’t change…

“Bittersweet Symphony” – The Verve

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About Lorem Ipsum

Just some guy trying to figure out where the "on" switch is hid on the remote control—ah, forget it. Because, you know what, I'm also the kinda guy who always likes the book waaay more than the movie! View all posts by Lorem Ipsum

6 responses to “I Can Change Everything About Who I Am, Except Who I Am

  • ioniamartin

    I identify with this so much–thank you for sharing it!

    • Lorem Ipsum

      I’m glad you liked the post!

      Yes, if you are also a mercurial spirit, like me, you will know what a balancing act life can become, as you try to find expression for all the different sides of yourself.

      • ioniamartin

        I read the story of the glass balls and laughed–does that make me an awful person or what?

        • Lorem Ipsum

          My google search brought up “Glass Balls of the Goblin King”, and James Patterson’s – “Suzanne’s Diary For Nicholas” where there is an example about life being a series of balls — some are rubber and bounce back if you drop them, some are glass and they shatter and break if you don’t give them enough attention and accidentally drop one.

          If you laughed at the Goblin King that probably does make you an awful person, I’m sorry to say. If you instead laughed at James Patterson’s parable about how we are forced to juggle our various life commitments, it probably indicates a healthy streak of defiance on your part. If however I’ve still missed the point, please enlighten me some? 🙂

          • ioniamartin

            You are correct in the latter, James Patterson and his unending wisdom. 🙂 Oh my. Anyway, yes I take on way more commitments than mental health professionals would ever say is healthy, but although I struggle to keep all the glass balls in the air at the same time, I certainly worry over the things that are out of my control as well.

            Still, when it is pointed out to me that “I put myself in this situation” I laugh and wonder if there is any other way to be. Everything must succeed to the best of my ability 🙂

  • Lorem Ipsum

    I’m just happy you didn’t laugh at the Goblin King!

    As for mental health professionals, I like the cartoon I read somewhere recently that said, “I used to have superpowers until my psychiatrist took them away from me” or words to that effect.

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