OMG! Who knew #teamjesus would fight so damn DIRTY!

imageNow, listen, I don’t claim to have ever known Jesus Christ, personally, but he strikes me as the kinda guy who would’ve been able to take a joke, right?

Okay. Here’s the thing. I’m a writer and have just self-published a novel called Missing Zero. It is a work of satirical fiction, which — among other things — tells of the supposed final redemption of the Antichrist.

And so, again, just let me point out, once more, that my novel is a work of FICTION.

Anyways, as part of getting word of my novel out there, I started a Missing Zero FaceBook page (please Like, if you would be so kind). And on this page I post somewhat “challenging” images and ideas pertaining to accepted Christian dogma. However, I do not actually explicitly endorse any particular stance whatsoever, whether it be atheism or Catholicism or fundamentalist Scientology etc. My sole aim is to generate debate and thereby generate interest more generally around the central themes of my novel.

Really, the most contentious proposition that my novel asks its readers to consider is whether it might be possible for someone as supposedly evil as the Antichrist to find absolution and forgiveness in the Lord’s eyes. God being, in theory, after all, all-loving.

Still, nothing prepared me for the kind of outrage I have encountered from certain Christian visitors to my FaceBook page. Let me share a fairly typical exchange with you, here:

Sarah ThunderBird: Fuck illumanti. YalL can suck my dick.

January 22 at 2:34pm via mobile · Like · 2

Sarah ThunderBird: Bitch please u must have a mental disease
January 22 at 3:08pm via mobile · Like

Firstly, I’ll just explain that, within the social media more generally, the word illuminati has apparently become pretty much interchangeable with the word Satanists, from what I gather. Either way, after ignoring Sarah’s original taunt, I responded to her second comment by quoting back at her the next line from the Eminem song she herself had referenced by posting Bitch please etc. After which, she responded by writing:

Sarah ThunderBird: Eminem can suck a choad along wit all yall wana be fake ass devil worshiping people.

January 22 at 3:28pm via mobile · Like · 2

Fair enough, I suppose. Although I don’t suppose I really want to know what a “choad” is, given the context of Sarah’s caustic comeback. Trying a different tack, to clear the air, I responded with some lyrics from a completely different song, thus:

Missing Zero:
You make friends with the Devil, you have fun with the Devil
You make vows with the Devil, now who you think gon’ win?
You make love to the Devil, definitely have fun with the Devil
You never fights with the Devil
You get right with the Devil
Now who you think gon’ win?

January 22 at 3:29pm · Like

To which, Sarah replied

Sarah ThunderBird Fuck the devil he can smd so can u.
January 22 at 3:30pm via mobile · Like · 3

But wait, now she had an ally in the form of Jesse Watt. And here’s what he next said:

January 23 at 9:15am · Edited · Like · 1

Jesse Watt: Tell’em Sarah Thunderbird.. I don’t vote either & WILL NEVER VOTE FOR THERE PUNCK ASS MF!!
January 23 at 9:18am · Like · 1

And my response?

Missing Zero: Can’t be sure, but didn’t you perceive a hint of a penis in absolutely every one of Ms ThunderBird’s previous comments?

Which conveniently brings me to the point of today’s blog. Namely, when did #teamjesus stop being all cuddly and Christian? I mean, they all fight so dirty now. Whatever happened to good Christian humility and forgiveness? I’m not a prude, but I have to admit I’m shocked! What would Jesus say?

If I might be so bold, I’d like to therefore finish now by leaving you all to ruminate on this strange turn of events, while also offering you this passage from the bible to reflect on in the meantime:

Jhn 8:7 he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Happy Easter, Everyone!

About Lorem Ipsum

Just some guy trying to figure out where the "on" switch is hid on the remote control—ah, forget it. Because, you know what, I'm also the kinda guy who always likes the book waaay more than the movie! View all posts by Lorem Ipsum

20 responses to “OMG! Who knew #teamjesus would fight so damn DIRTY!

  • BJ

    I haven’t been to your facebook page and I don’t know them but from what you’ve said here I’m pretty sure neither Sarah nor Jesse are really playing for team Jesus.

    • Lorem Ipsum

      Hey, thanks for stopping past!

      These posts from Sarah and Jesse, sadly, are but two examples of the many such comments I have received on my FaceBook page.

      Notwithstanding whether or not the two of them are truly aligned with team Jesus, it does make me wonder about whatever happened to tolerance within our society, more generally.


    • John

      by their fruits you will know them… not by their moniker

  • timidvoice

    “whether it might be possible for someone as supposedly evil as the Antichrist to find absolution and forgiveness in the Lord’s eyes. God being, in theory, after all, all-loving.”

    Now this is an interesting thought experiment.

    Initial gut reaction- it all depends on Antichrist. God doesn’t change- he says you choose. I wonder if Antichrist would be able to/want to choose to love God. No idea.

    • Lorem Ipsum

      Thank you for responding to my blog article. I’d also like to thank you for commenting on the “thought experiment” which forms the basis of my novel.

      Your comment is the most insightful response I have yet received since writing the novel. I resolved the issue of the Antichrist’s redemption by portraying God as a constant – exactly as you describe. As for how the Antichrist changes, this process forms the basic arc of the narrative overall. Needless to say, the process itself is an illustrative example of spiritual alchemy in action!


      • timidvoice

        I like. Here’s another thought experiment: what’s to stop the fall from happening all over again in heaven after Christ’s return? I mean if the devil was an angel and ‘knew’ God, how could he possibly turn against God and want to be better than him? If he could, why couldn’t people in heaven because they know God too, the condition is the same. Knowing God doesn’t seem to be the thing that stops someone from rejecting him- what is?

        • Lorem Ipsum

          I must admit, it is refreshing to be contemplating thought experiments of any kind. Until this point, I have mostly been accused basically of heresy, when not being asked whether I am accepting new recruits to my religion. It seems many people are unable to think hypothetically about the ideas my novel presents them with.

          By my reckoning, your idea of the re-fall of man is worthy of a novel in its own right. The crux of your question lies in the definition of knowing God. To the Gnostics, true gnosis/knowledge of God was to find the Godhead within. Once found, in order to reject God, one would have to reject oneself. As a caveat, I will just point out that the Gnostics also believed Sophia was the true God, whereas Jehovah/Yahweh was actually simply the demi-urge who created this coarse and imperfect physical plane of existence.

    • John

      I don’t have a problem with “antichrist” finding redemption. Why not? Most of us who have been forgiven much were against Christ. (e.g. St. Paul before he was knocked off his horse, or the slave trader who wrote Amazing Grace). That’s the Gospel.

      By the way you may want to check out my blog: “Apocalypse. Now – The Beginning is Near”

      • Lorem Ipsum

        Thank you, John, for your considered response. I sincerely hope whoever it is who sits in judgement over us on our final day of reckoning is as unbiased and forgiving when it comes to which of us deserves saving and which of us not.

      • John

        George MacDonald rejected the doctrine that Christ has taken the place of sinners and is punished by God in their place, believing that it raised serious questions about the character and nature of God. Instead, he taught that Christ had come to save people from their sins, not from a Divine penalty for their sins. The problem is not the need to appease a wrathful God but the disease of cosmic evil itself. “Did he not foil and slay evil by letting all the waves and billows of its horrid sea break upon him, go over him, and die without rebound—spend their rage, fall defeated, and cease? Verily, he made atonement!”

        MacDonald was convinced that God does not punish except to amend, and that the sole end of His greatest anger is the amelioration of the guilty. As the doctor uses fire and steel in certain deep-seated diseases, so God may use hell-fire if necessary to heal the hardened sinner. MacDonald declared, “I believe that no hell will be lacking which would help the just mercy of God to redeem his children.” MacDonald posed the rhetorical question, “When we say that God is Love, do we teach men that their fear of Him is groundless?” He replied, “No. As much as they fear will come upon them, possibly far more. … The wrath will consume what they call themselves; so that the selves God made shall appear.” (with thanks to Wikipedia)

  • timidvoice

    Mmm, I love thought experiments and thinking of new ones so it was cool stumble on your one.
    Well I can definitely see why you would get that reaction, I think it’s an emotional response and seeing that I’m not very emotional and use my head a lot, this is fun for me.
    Care to write about it? Hehe.
    In the Christian view, I don’t think it’s so much about rejecting God. I mean Satan believes in God but he just wants to be better than him so it’s rejecting his rightful standing I guess. What I don’t get is how if once ‘with God’ you know all things and really know God, how could you want to go against him if he is as good and loving as they say. Wouldn’t the only response be love if you really knew God? It must be either a condition of heaven or a condition of what it is to be not God that allows for this. Then again, I could be completely off-track with all my thinking.

    • Lorem Ipsum

      My understanding is that one theory as to why Satan was cast from heaven was because he refused to bow to Man, God’s creation. He still loved God but could not bring himself to do as God asked in this respect. His actions could therefore be seen perhaps as being driven by jealousy at being displaced by Man in God’s affections?

      • timidvoice

        Wow, I’ve never heard that one before- interesting. Will give it some thought.
        First instinct- I’m not sure how I feel about Man’s position- gosh that’s a bit daunting really and I don’t really think I agree. No-one is to bow to man in the Christian view I know. Only God is to be bowed to. But will have to think about it more.
        Plus I’ve only ever heard that Satan was jealous of God.
        So much to unpack in that theory- love it.

      • John

        Yes, I like that. Man was given dominion of the Earth by God, Lost to the “serpent” at the Fall, and restored to humanity in Christ.

  • Elizabeth Melton Parsons

    Sheesh! Are those two supposed to be Christians?

You must be logged in to post a comment.

%d bloggers like this: